Mary McCaslin's Roundup

May 3, 2001

SOMEONE WHO LOOKS LIKE ME

As songwriters go, I was somewhat of a late bloomer. When I first began my musical career in the mid 1960s, it never occurred to me that I would ever write or record my own songs. Whatever notice I was receiving at that time was for my performances of other peoples' songs. My early endeavors as a songwriter did not appear until I recorded my second album, "Way Out West" in 1973. To this day, the process of creating a good, singable, and ultimately recordable song is not really any easier than when I first began writing all those years ago.

There have been those occasions when, for some reason, a song is so ready to come out that I have almost felt cast in the role of "medium", much like a psychic at a seance. The words flow quickly and the melody develops at the same time or very soon after most, or all of the lyrics have been written down. Very little refinement is needed for the song to be complete. In my experience, and I'm sure in the experience of other songwriters, this is an extremely rare occurrance.

Most of the time it's an uphill struggle once the idea comes into my head. It can take anywhere from a day to a decade, or longer, to complete a song. And sometimes a song is never completed. This happens more often than anyone would like to admit. Every songwriter I know has fragments of songs scattered about, many long forgotten.

Over the years the song I've been asked about most often is the one that took me the longest to write. The idea for "Someone Who Looks Like Me" came to me almost as soon as I found out I was adopted, which was around 1974. I was in my late twenties at the time, and a person other than my adoptive parents told me what, for many reasons, should have been obvious to me. How I let myself be fooled into believing that I was not adopted is something I will never fully understand, other than to say that it has a lot to do with my Catholic upbringing and my mother's need to keep this fact of my life from me until I married.

The premise of "Someone Who Looks Like Me" is very simple. I want to see someone who I physically resemble, as in the way family members resemble each other. But just because I had the idea, did not mean I had a song. Years of "tinkering" aside, I was not able to seriously work on and complete "Someone Who Looks Like Me" until 1990. I believe that the reason it took so long for me to make "Someone Who Looks Like Me" into a real song is that I feared hurting my adoptive parents. The ironic part of the story is that they both died without ever hearing the song.

Being a performer puts one in a very unique relationship with the audience, or the public in general, for that matter. Having written a song like "Someone Who Looks Like Me" has seemed to open a dialogue with anyone who has been touched by adoption. I've had adoptees and adoptive parents, relatives and friends of adoptees tell me their stories. Other people searching for their birth parents or a child they gave up and people who have found birth parents or children have shared their stories with me. On a couple of occasions I've even been asked by childless couples if I think they should adopt. The first time I was asked for my advice on this life changing decision it took me a minute to recover sufficiently. I answered that the couple should just think of it as deciding whether or not to have a child and that they alone should make this choice.

On stage, I have many introductions for this song. I usually tell the audience what I now know about my background and where I was born. I almost always say that I think adoption is a great choice, given the over populated state of our world today. But, just like giving birth to a child, this decision should be made for the right reasons. Some adoptive parents expect way too much from the child. I have often said that I cannot tell anyone whether or not to adopt. One thing I always say is that I was in my late twenties before anyone told me I was adopted and that as noble is the concept of adoption is, telling the truth is just as important.

SAD NEWS

This spring has brought the loss of two beloved members of our music community. The first is "Ramblin'" Jan Currie, Ramblin' Jack Elliott's wife and our good friend. The last time we saw her was in February when she accompanied Jack to his show with Dave Van Ronk at Palookaville here in Santa Cruz.

Jan was the first woman any of us had seen with Jack who shared his life in a way no other woman had. She enjoyed the life style of a traveling musician, yet valued a home life. She took care of Jack, but had a good time and was his true mate. We'll miss you, Jan.

The most recent loss is jazz musician and Gail Rich Award winner Smith Dobson. He was killed late this last Friday night coming home from a show in Palo Alto. By all accounts, Smith was loved and respected by all who came in contact with him. Our condolences to his wife, singer Gail Dobson, his children, friends and fans.

COMING ATTRACTIONS

On a happier note, this season is the beginning of a run of great musical events. The Riders in the Sky return to Roaring Camp for an afternoon concert on Sunday, May 6. Fingerstyle guitar fans have a chance to see and hear the best when former Wings guitarist Laurence Juber and Bay Area guitarist Neil Hogan grace the stage at the Kuumbwa Jazz Center on Thursday May 10. Another great fingerstyle guitarist, Jorma Kaukonen, will be one of the headliners for the Texas Uprising and Swine Soiree at the fairgounds in Watsonville on Sunday, June 17. Of course, Jorma's great band Hot Tuna will be with him.

This is just the beginning, there's lots more.

Happy Trails.

Mary McCaslin can be reached by email at roundup@marymccaslin.com, or at PO Box 3394, Santa Cruz, CA 95063.

She host "The Fat Farm" on Thursday afternoons from noon to 3 on KZSC, 88.1 FM.